[Okay... I'm taking it too seriously (this and other stuff)] Kept thinking about this whole age thing today. I know that it really isn't a big deal, but for the most part, I got me thinking about my position and view on relationships and what I want at this point in time. Considering the fact that a lot will change in the next couple of years, I really don't know if it matters this whole boyfriend thing. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND! But it seems as though lately, it feels like I have been. I'm not looking for a boyfriend, I'm looking for a late night rendezvou (non sexual you dirty birdy), chillin' at home with someone while we watch a movie. Someone to bring to a party and not make it weird. I don't know. I don't need someone to make me feel like I'm complete. I don't need someone to remind me that I'm loved. I don't need all that. I just want someone to kick it with =) Sound stupid? Sound really strange? I can't really shake the whole feeling of kicking it with someone that hasn't established a label in your life. Does this mean that I'm infatuated with the chase? LOL... nah I don't think so, I just love good company. I really love GREAT COMPANY and well... GREAT GUY COMPANY is awesome always. So this great guy company I seek? Geez... I don't know I just feel like it's the only thing I can really handle right now. I can't really be someones girlfriend... or maybe I just try to tell myself that because I'm not looking for that. I REALLY DON'T KNOW! It's all so confusing, but y0... we all know that MY FREAKIN ASS IS RUSTY. I haven't been in the game for a long time, and even then... it still feels weird. I'm still dealing with feelings and coping... I'm also realizing that it's time to move on... and love someone else other then him. To consume yourself with the thought of a potential relationship with someone you know will be a horrible usher/alicia keys colabo for the rest of your life is hard to get over. At the same time, I've come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe... I won't end up with him. The hope is dying slowly and um... I think I've grown tremendously from the experience. I love him. Plain and simple. Not the kind of love you need to get over, but the kind of love that makes you know that someone will be around when babies are walking around and bikes need to be taught how to ride (either in Uncle or Dad form) I feel that kind of love with him. But yea lately... I've been contemplating that maybe I'm ready for some new flavor. Someone who hasn't been apart of the regular cast of characters that have plagued me for the past two years. New flavor, new companions, age ain't nothing but a number. HOLLA AT CHA GIRL! Seriously though... it's weird. Too weird to explain, but I know I'll be back here around 1am to explain the whole damn thing to all 15 of you =)