//Ahh... Good Ol' Insecurities// When you first meet me the first thing that does not come to mind is someone who is shy and insecure. (says my friends) but almost always there are certain situations that make me feel this way. I experienced one of them last night. At the club last night, we had run into some old high school people we know, but did not kick it with during school. Alluva sudden I found myself at a reserved table sitting behind cranberry juice and orange juice karafs, listening to typical 626 Asian guys look at me with a familar stare, but not quite remembering my name. To the left of me, my sister... being egged on by two guys to drink some stoli concoction to the right of me another one of my friends being urged to do the same. In between them, I'm impatient, I hear all of my jams play on the dancefloor and as I eagerly want to leave this booth, I'm urged to stay and have a drink. I declined five times. It's not that these group of people were not being nice, because they were... it just made me feel uncomfortable. My trooper mentality made me stay, but for the most part after we eventually left the booth and I was in a weird funk the rest of the night. Half of my friends probably think it's stupid of me to even feel this way, but that little incident made me feel very self concious for the rest of the night. My old familar insecurities crept in, and I started to feel really bad about myself. I was transported back to a time where I always felt like the odd girl out because of my appearence, my personality, and me just being me. Amy says that these clubs (Asian ones especially... or probably only is a better word) are bad places to go for your mental stability. Especially if you're a girl. I felt so stupid last night having such insecurities creep back in because at the age of twenty three, I'm confidant enough to know that I've gotten past those insecurities and I know that there's more to life then what people think of your physical atributes. I guess it was just something in the air last night that reminded me of them once again. I felt so little last night... it was not a good feeling. I felt like I was a teenager again sad that my size wasn't as small as theirs. While everyone was living it up and having their happy buzzes I was smiling for the sake of smiling and just going along with everything. I enjoyed the company last night, I just was not to happy with myself or where we were at. It's amazing how one familar feeling can knock you back into some unwelcomed territory. No more Asian Clubs... at least the ones were the 626 peeps go to.