[...] It's been really hard to focus lately, I'm just not in the mood to put up with the situations I'm putting up with. Going on a business trip with your supervisor can really show that you're not in the right place and right mind set professionally. seriously I need to find a way. Although I don't feel lost, I know that I'm just not feelin' it my interest has filled it's capacity when it comes to the mundane routine I keep bloggin' about. I'm tired and in awe of other people pursing other things. I want my other things to be in my hands... right now, and although this has been the longest/shortest two weeks of my life, waiting for an answer from the future gods is a painful task. I can taste the freedom. Even if I recieve a "thank you for your consideration but..." at the same time, the thought of leaving Los Angeles for some place new and exciting scares me. Simple things like "am I going to buy a television?" or "how much does it cost to mail my things across the country?" boggle my mind when I'm thinking positively about the situation. I've never really left the nest, the umbillical cord is waiting for that very last snip. TFA would be the true test of independence. I walk through work in a daze. It's crazy... I've got work activities booked up every other week. I keep bringing up ideas... I keep acting like I'm staying... even though I know very much so that I'm getting the heck out of dodge soon. *sigh*