.:...:. We spent the day together, and I knew it was a mistake. Nothing has changed in the last two years we've known each other, and even if I was expecting something, it was wrong to do so because if nothing happened back then, for sure nothing was going to happen now. My relationship with this person is like a rollercoaster ride gone bad, but before the rollercoaster could hit the top, it never made it. Gears stopped and passengers were escorted off the track. It had the makings of the best love story ever told, but nothing was said. I didn't regret anything that happened because nothing did happen... it was sad though because again... the warm fuzzies and the feeling s of courting made me feel like something could happen. Way before I met him and things changed forever. Back then I wanted him to man up, but on this night where he and I were alone for the most part, I wanted to put the past aside and just appreciate him as a friend. We acted very couple like. Feeding me ice cream, walking together closely, going to watch a movie. We showed up at a function, that day we spent together and eyes turned. His eyes turned especially, and I wasn't with this person because I wanted to make him jealous, I was with him because that was what happened... everything was being done on a feeling, and my feelings were going towards someone other then him. Amazing isn't it? Our history (if you can even call it that) is one of those stories you talk about to your kids when your husband/wife is not looking. The one who got away? He didn't really get away, because he never really left. He's not really memorable because there's nothing really much to remember. (for the most part) I've gone from always thinking about this person... analyzing every one of his actions to my friends like a school girl crazy in crush, to swearing him off publicly. And now talking about him again (semi-publicly) I put myself at risk for one of those conversations if he mans up to one that is. There's this one quote that was mentioned to me a year ago about us and to this day it stays in the back of my head. Time to shake it out! Seriously. I want some answers, but seriously, the ship has sailed. Not forced sailing, but just sailed. That night we were together, I looked at him. Stressed and tired all at the same time. I looked at him as he looked at the ceiling of his room. I wanted to tell him everything, from beginning to now. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to fill the emotion that should have been filled a long time ago. But the stress and fatigue that plagued his being that night, just turned me off from the idea of wanting to save this thing that never really was. And now I've given up... not because I'm really concerned about us but I'm tried of all the ambiguity of it all. I should have fessed up that night, but the look on his face (and even his persona now because of actions of late) is not worth the added drama for him. I'm looking out for this person, and myself because the last thing I need on my plate is boy drama. That's for sure =)