[Because I'm tired/rambling this may sound stupid]

My one problem that has been bothering me since school started was my work flow interference on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Since the traffic is horrendous to APU in the afternoon (why is the 210 so crazy like that?) I have to leave the office at 3:00PM or else I won�t make it to class. I finally figured out how to go to the computer lab and check email, but when I�m in class� that�s a problem. That�s like 4 hours without checking email and getting back to messages which is a big chunk of my work activities.  

In an attempt to try and make my life a little easier and solve this problem, I bought a blackberry on ebay. My one problem with my work/school is that constant quest to check email and respond back. I�d hate to have to lug my laptop around, so on a whim (even though it�s used and didn�t cost that much) I just got myself a RIM Blackberry 7100t. Time to get connected!

Although this will never replace my phone, I think I�ll use it on the weekdays. The plan is actually not bad for the email and text and internet with the phone service is pretty cheap. I pay that much anyway for my cell bill so I ain�t trippin�. Mainly I want it for the days I go to school. If there�s one thing the triad taught me was to get back to email with a quickness (and oddly enough I think I�m a little too email obsessed) In the end, it�s a PDA at the same time and although it doesn�t have MP3 ringtones and assigned ringers (I hate that because sound is the best way to screen calls) I think I�m just going to have to deal. It�s a mini treat for myself (even though again� it wasn�t much of a purchase and it is used) I was contemplating buying it new but I just renewed my contract in December so there�s no new phone coming my way at all any time soon. Although I know that it�s not a life or death situation that I check email, I thought it might make things a little easier for me. Why am I telling you guys this? Hehe.. I don�t know, but I just wanted to share.

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When I�m in a certain area of Los Angeles, I have to use my Tagalog a little more (especially for work) I don�t mind, but it gets tough. While at a work function today/yesterday, one of the guys work worked at the place I was at was talking to me in Tagalog. Too FAST I might add. I get flustered with speed and end up using PO (which is usually used after a phrase or sentence for people WAY older then you or the most respect) and they get kind of offended. Anyway� this guy was really cute (the way he was acting not his looks, but he was okay). Tending to us and making sure we had everything we needed. When I was just about rapping up for work, he was off too. He kinda hung out and approached me in his street clothes and asked if we were coming back tomorrow. I replied with a no and he said oh and asked if we were coming back period and I told him that it was it. He asked me my name and he replied with his. It was funny because just to be polite I told him, �see you.� And he said yea, �see you.� He left and came back again, and said bye to me and kind of gave me a hug� LOL

Could I really be with someone who preferred to speak a different language then I�m used to? I mean I can hang with some mean ass Tag-lish, but if we�re talking TAGALOG 24/7 I don�t know. Prop me for knowing how to speak it, but advance skills may need more practice. Although I�m not planning marriages with this cat, I just thought about my relationship preferences and how I probably wouldn�t go out with a 1 or a 1.5er. Even though my cousin once told me that, �game in Tagalog is awesome.�

Haha�

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I had a dream about him that just made so much psychological sense to me a couple nights ago. In the dream, him and I are just hanging out. We have a packed day of activities (just friends going out) and we get really tired. We�re staying somewhere and we have to share a bed. We decide to take a nap, and I take one end of the bed and he�s at another end. As I start to doze off, he tries to hold/spoon me. I�m weirded out by this just because this never happens and we�re just friends and nothing else. He keeps asking if he could hold me and hug me and eventually I give. In the dream we try to sleep, but he keeps adjusting and readjusting the way he wants to sleep and hold me. I keep changing according to what he wants but after the fifth switch I get fed up and tell him that he better make up his mind or else I�m going to sleep by myself. Before he could reply I wake up, and that�s that.

Whenever I dream about him, it seems so real, but that dream in particular seemed to sum up my relationship with him. It was a series of moves, which finally led me to being fed up and wanting to walk away. Like making up your mind with a sleep/holding position, I�ve always wanted him to make up his mind about us or about me.

But nowadays I don�t even think it�s an issue. As much as I�ve cared for him in the past, it�s such a bittersweet memory the two of us (as clich� as it sounds) Although it would have been nice to see� I don�t think we�ll ever going to happen.

Shockingly enough� I�m okay with that.